| Mike Freeman |
| GAMES FOR THE YOUNG AND YOUNG AT HEART Have you and your friends pretend they are trees with one person chosen as the lumberjack. One by one the lumberjack cuts down all the trees. The game is over when the last tree is cut down and the lumberjack suffocates on his own carbon dioxide. Choose a common household object. Hold it up and tell a funny make-believe story about how it is evidence of the manufacture of weapons of mass destruction. The more far-fetched the explanation the better. Use your imagination! “Upper and Lower House”: Everyone lies down in an area called “The Lower House” and pretends that they are dead. The person who can play dead the longest is the winner and gets to go to another area known as “The Upper House” where they get to do nothing for the rest of their lives until they really are dead! Divide into two teams. Half of you must act like Government Agents and the other half must act like Terrorists. Try to guess the difference! Game for kids in New York. One person builds a house out of a cardboard box and tries to make a meal from kitchen leftovers in the garbage. Another person known as “The Bloomberg” kicks that person until they beg for mercy. Then he kicks them some more. Take a pair of scissors, a bowl and a needle and thread. Perform a self-appendectomy. This game is called “Two-Tier Healthcare”. Game for 33 million people. Choose one of you to be Prime Minister. The Prime Minister stands in the corner blindfolded and waits for someone to tell him what to do. (That’s the game. It never ends. There are no winners.) December 2007 |
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Red Pulp Underground
| Copyright 2007 Red Pulp Underground |
| I stand alone in front of a cheering red-and-white-clad multitude. I wave a large Maple Leaf that ripples in the wind. The crowd begins to sing as the band plays the opening strains of O Canada. At the words “Our home a native land” I accidentally sing, “Our home on the Natives’ Land.” The flag bursts into flames in my hands. The music dies. The crowd goes silent. I drop the burning flag. A most embarrassing situation for all concerned December 2007 |
ANOTHER DEAD IRAQI End of a long, hard day of just being himself The President prepares for sleep. Enters the bedroom. Looks up. Frowns. Another dead Iraqi in his bed! Sunni, Shiite, or Kurd. Who can tell? He picks up the phone. Pauses. Forgets. Should he call Security or Housekeeping? December 2007 |